Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Update: Excuuuse Me, DATUK Toyos R' Not Us

Unless you're Leen Ash Burn and you've managed to somehow knock your head (heh heh), you will remember that in my last post, I said that:

"Since YAB Datuk Seri Khir Toyo thinks it's okay to invade people's privacy and ask them if they're having sex, it would be perfectly okay for us to call YAB Datuk Seri Khir Toyo and ask him if he's having sex (full story here)."

I hope that as responsible citizens of Malaysia - Negara Kita Yang Merdeka, you did as you were told. I mean, I even gave you the contact information, dammit. What the hell else do you want?

Anyway, to prove to you that I'm a practice-what-you-preach kinda guy, I tried to get in touch with YAB Datuk Seri Khir Toyo:

Please click here for audio before you read on (If the Play button doesn't work, click Download. I'm still trying to figure out this audio thing).

Okay-okay. I know what you're thinking:
Someone actually answered the phone! In a government department! And they actually transferred me to someone who wasn't out for tea!
I'm as shocked as you are.

But, overall, I'm disappointed. I didn't get to speak to YAB Datuk Seri Khir Toyo. And even though the person I spoke to seemed really nice, she didn't have the information I wanted. Typical government. They might as well be out for tea.

And there are a few things that I'm disturbed about:

Firstly, the phrase "soalan ini bercorak peribadi". Does this mean that we can't call people up and ask them if they're having sex? How come the government can but we can't? What if I join the government? Can I call people then?
So many questions. I think parliament should have some emergency parliamentary-thingy and sort this out once and for all, dammit.

CAN WE or CAN WE NOT call people up and ask them if they're having sex?

That's all I want to know.

Secondly, was that a threat? The whole "panggilan ini kami rakam" and telling me what my own phone number is? I mean, maybe it wasn't a threat. Maybe it was just an innocent statement. But if it is, why tell me what my own phone number is? Don't they think I know my own phone number?

Better to be cautious and take it as a threat. You all remember what to do with my body if I die, right? Okay. Phew. Just checking.

Annnyywayy, as I was sayingShitWhatWasThat??!!!

Oh. Sorry. Just a damn cat and some dramatic violin music in the background. Nothing to worry about. There's absolutely no one creeping up behind me at this very moment an gvofer vfgvkdcvhegfigerhg hefvriheg hefhvgwjhfwvbjfhv






Leen Ash Burn said...

OMG! What is Pazuzu's body doing in a pink tutu and flowers on his hair???

the ghost of pazuzu said...

It's what I wear when I blog. I'm eccentric like that.

lilyliverbird said...

oik. let me know what you want me to bring when i visit you in jail.

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

oh my gawd!!! Indah Water Konsortium has managed to flush the floating turd into its sewerage treatment system!!!!

the collection of atoms formerly known as pazuzu said...

Please don't bring a box of Fab. That kind of soap is useless in prison. Too scratchy.

IWK wouldn't do that. They love me. I'm their paid spokesperson.

Khir Poyo said...

Bahawasanya saya tidak pernah mengadakan hubungan seks semasa di sekolah kecuali semasa kelas biologi tingkatan 3 kerana kurikulum KBSM menggalakkan pembelajaran secara praktikal.

pazuzu at the pearly gates said...


seks dengan menggunakan tabung uji tidak diiktiraf oleh Dewan Bahasa sebagai 'hubungan seks'.
Sekian Terima Kasih.

lilyliverbird said...

like that, i bring you a can of ghee lah...

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

once there was pazuzu,

yes IWK would. they deal with shit and you have to expect shit from them. especially when they pay you.

(so, that's how they been using the money we innocent consumers/expellers).

pazuzu at the pearly gates but refusing to pay cover charge said...

why? Is shebby in prison too?

I like Indah Water, ok? They're full of shit. So am I.

Leen Ash Burn said...

So erm, who's inheriting your worldly posessions then? (Tutu, plastic flowers and net stockings?). Doubt I can sell them off E-bay. Not even Lelong.com.my

TooooTs said...

they all sound the SAMEEE!!!
haha stupid gits.

anttyk said...

Wahlau......... I didn't know that turds had balls the size of dogs bollocks!

I'll tag along with Lils and visit you in jail.

Keropok said...

Brother 'zuz,

The 'Pearly Gates' you think you see is the rim of my toilet. It's broken. If you don't flat off by tonight, I'm gona use the old bucket of water system on you.

Ariel said...

It's oklah Pazuzu, I'd rescue you from Keropok and put you in a fishbowl (shitbowl once you're in) in my house. I'll give you Internet access for you to blog so I can still be in lurve with you.

[V]landa said...

KY Jelly tanak?

pazuzu at the pearly gates yelling "Let me in! I know God! He used to be my secretary!" said...

I leave all my laundry to The Liverbird, since she's always fascinated by it.
The rest, I hereby donate to Greenpeace, for no good reason I can think of.

You're referring to gov employees? I actually thot she was quite nice, what.

Thanks. But please bring better gifts than the ones Lily does.

pazuzu wondering why the pearly gates looks like the the rim of a really really dirty toilet seat said...

No! Not the old bucket! That's the only thigs that can stop me! Damn you, Mighty Mouse!

why do i have a funny feeling you'll want to take that back?


lilyliverbird said...

oi focker...i do not want your clothes..i can't be bothered to pick them off the floor.

I've tagged you *evil laugh*

Ariel said...

Paz, why do you call it a funny feeling? Does it make you wanna laugh?

[V]landa said...

funny feeling can be associated with butterflies in tummy ke?

itu lust namanye.

Pazuzu having a beer and trying to break up a fight between God & Mother Teresa, who're both drunk said...

You don't have to. I still have the laundry basket.
Working on the stupid tag now.

Just a hunch. I'm psychic. And sometimes, I can fly.

I don't eat butterflies. I prefer cats. Sweet and Sour.

sic6sense said...

wow..just heard the recording. thot she sounded anal. good for phone sex.

Pazuzu in hell coz he's bored in heaven said...

phone sex with gov employees must be like an orgy. They'll just keep transferring you to other people.