Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The War Against Stupidity

Stupidity wears a tie. And a coat. Even though this is Malaysia and we mengalami iklim khatulistiwa, which means the most appropriate attire for work should be slippers and shorts (shirt optional).

Stupidity sits at the head of the table. He pretends to frown thoughtfully after listening to what I have to say. Then he tells me I'm wrong. He is unable to tell me why.

Stupidity has a bookshelf. There are many books, all neatly arranged, all unread, all self-help books, on it. There is a book on his table - Seven Habits of Successful People, I think it is. It is dog-eared on Chapter 2. It has been for months now. I guess finishing what you started isn't one of the 7 habits.

Stupidity has a Problem. Proudly, he announces to me that he also has The Solution. The Problem can be metaphorically described as "Global Warming". Stupidity's Solution can be metaphorically described as "to wear a really large hat".

Stupidity has a Successful Sense of Humour. Which means that his jokes and one-liners consist of incomprehensible remarks about golf, cars and second-wives. Example:

Me: We have two-concepts to present.

Stupidity: You have two concepts? I have two wives! HaHaHaHa! Geddit?

Me: No.


I have no sense of humour.
Not today.
It's in exile.
It fears the mess that Stupidity has left in much of my brain.
I can't write. I can't laugh. I can barely think.

I need the antidote to Stupidity.

I need Langkawi.

8 comments:

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

and i shtill lorve yhouw!!!

ps. nevvah bheen to lungkhaweee ....

lilyliverbird said...

the ugly never dies young. the stupid always get to the top.

i will live forever, in the poorhouse.

Sigh.

pazuzu said...

All together now,

Wo-oh! We're halfway there!
Wo-oh! Livin on a Prayer!

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

and stupidity is those who sit in mission control.

Su-Yin said...

Stupidity also has a side-kick, who is usually either a tubby oaf covered in moles and laughs/cries at everything, or a squat little shrimp who grows a moustache to compensate for his lack of manliness.

pazuzu said...

Lily,
if u poor how come can afford to eat magnum almond all the time?

babe,
what mission control? did I miss something? Am I stupid too now? Sigh.

Suyin,
I HATE THAT MOLE!!! Must. Cut off. Mole. With. Rusty knife. Now!

princesswaffzonkle said...

go get perhentian, easier on the eyes.

Desparil said...

Stupidity sounds like someone i worked for once.

ceh..