Ever since I started blogging, random people have accosted me on the street, looking like highly-strung drug addicts, and begged me to do something about my lack of entries during the weekend.
"Do something about your lack of entries during the weekend!" they would scream. "Our weekends are miserable without you! Last weekend I sat by the computer, hitting Refresh every 3 minutes to see if you've posted anything and I forgot to feed my baby, who died."
I don't want any dead-baby-blood on my hands.
But at the same time, on principle, I only blog during office hours. That way, I can theoretically blog while getting paid, which enables me to keep this site free for You, My Dearest Reader/Apostle.
So now, I have come up with a solution on how you can keep yourselves occupied during the weekends and yet leave me the hell alone.
Weekend Fun is a new feature in The Floating Turd.
Every Thursday or Friday, I will come up with something for you to do during the weekend. Something fun. Hence the name Weekend Fun!
This weekend's fun activity, inspired by the ever-humourous Iraq War, is:
Uday, Qusay, BOOM! (Beginners' Level)
Uday, Qusay, BOOM! is a game that can be played with 3 or more individuals. In fact, the more the merrier.
To play, you will need:
1) One bottle of Absolut Vodka
2) A shot glass
To start playing, have your friends sit in a circle.
One person will 'start the ball rolling' by shouting out the name "Uday!"
The person next to him will then shout "Qusay!"
The next person will then revert to Uday followed by Qusay again for the person after him.
When this sequence of Uday, Qusay, Uday, Qusay is completed, the next person reverses the cycle by starting with Qusay followed by Uday and so on.
If somebody screws up the sequence, everybody in the circle should shout "BOOM!" really loudly and insist that the screwer-upper bottoms-ups a shot of Absolut Vodka.
Example with 5 friends:
Friend 1: Uday!
Friend 2: Qusay!
Friend 3: Uday!
Friend 4: Qusay!
Friend 5 now has to change the sequence.
Friend 5: Qusay!
Friend 1: Uday!
Friend 2: Qusay!
Friend 3: Uday!
Friend 4: Qusay!
Everybody: BOOOOM!!!!
As you can see, Friend 4 (Ross) should have changed the sequence by shouting "Uday!". Since he didn't, his punishment* will be to down a shot of Absolut Vodka. This is a fun game for the whole family and I urge you to start playing today!
Uday, Qusay, BOOM! (Advanced Level)
The Advanced Level of Uday, Qusay, BOOM! is pretty much the same as the Beginners' Level. The only difference is one additional element:
Each participant will be provided with two cardboard cutouts of the faces of Uday and Qusay Hussein.
As they shout out the name, they should quickly place the corresponding cutout over their face.
If someone shouts Uday but places a Qusay Cutout over his face, everybody should shout "BOOM!" and force him to down a shot.
So there you have it! The very first installment of Weekend Fun!
Till next weekend, I remain your Funmaster General, Pazuzu.
Have a great weekend.
Now, Flush Off and leave me alone.
* For people who don't drink, the punishment should be to do "Nude Squats". You never know when a packet of drugs will fall out of their private orifices, which can potentially provide even more fun for you and the family!
"Do something about your lack of entries during the weekend!" they would scream. "Our weekends are miserable without you! Last weekend I sat by the computer, hitting Refresh every 3 minutes to see if you've posted anything and I forgot to feed my baby, who died."
I don't want any dead-baby-blood on my hands.
But at the same time, on principle, I only blog during office hours. That way, I can theoretically blog while getting paid, which enables me to keep this site free for You, My Dearest Reader/Apostle.
So now, I have come up with a solution on how you can keep yourselves occupied during the weekends and yet leave me the hell alone.
Weekend Fun is a new feature in The Floating Turd.
Every Thursday or Friday, I will come up with something for you to do during the weekend. Something fun. Hence the name Weekend Fun!
This weekend's fun activity, inspired by the ever-humourous Iraq War, is:
Uday, Qusay, BOOM! (Beginners' Level)
Uday, Qusay, BOOM! is a game that can be played with 3 or more individuals. In fact, the more the merrier.
To play, you will need:
1) One bottle of Absolut Vodka
2) A shot glass
To start playing, have your friends sit in a circle.
One person will 'start the ball rolling' by shouting out the name "Uday!"
The person next to him will then shout "Qusay!"
The next person will then revert to Uday followed by Qusay again for the person after him.
When this sequence of Uday, Qusay, Uday, Qusay is completed, the next person reverses the cycle by starting with Qusay followed by Uday and so on.
If somebody screws up the sequence, everybody in the circle should shout "BOOM!" really loudly and insist that the screwer-upper bottoms-ups a shot of Absolut Vodka.
Example with 5 friends:
Friend 1: Uday!
Friend 2: Qusay!
Friend 3: Uday!
Friend 4: Qusay!
Friend 5 now has to change the sequence.
Friend 5: Qusay!
Friend 1: Uday!
Friend 2: Qusay!
Friend 3: Uday!
Friend 4: Qusay!
Everybody: BOOOOM!!!!
As you can see, Friend 4 (Ross) should have changed the sequence by shouting "Uday!". Since he didn't, his punishment* will be to down a shot of Absolut Vodka. This is a fun game for the whole family and I urge you to start playing today!
Uday, Qusay, BOOM! (Advanced Level)
The Advanced Level of Uday, Qusay, BOOM! is pretty much the same as the Beginners' Level. The only difference is one additional element:
Each participant will be provided with two cardboard cutouts of the faces of Uday and Qusay Hussein.
As they shout out the name, they should quickly place the corresponding cutout over their face.
If someone shouts Uday but places a Qusay Cutout over his face, everybody should shout "BOOM!" and force him to down a shot.
So there you have it! The very first installment of Weekend Fun!
Till next weekend, I remain your Funmaster General, Pazuzu.
Have a great weekend.
Now, Flush Off and leave me alone.
* For people who don't drink, the punishment should be to do "Nude Squats". You never know when a packet of drugs will fall out of their private orifices, which can potentially provide even more fun for you and the family!
7 comments:
MARRY ME!
I most definitely would not want to see a huge, hairy dude doing nude squats. Ew...
islanda,
why you want to marry him? he doesn't wear socks.
islanda,
I'm Indian. Only arranged marriages will do. Sorry.
Anttyk,
Huge hairy dudes can carry more drugs. More drugs=More fun. Everything has a price.
Lily,
Thought you were mengantuk. Liar.
Morticia,
FT.
lils,
he doesnt? *gasp*
ok kensel!
lily, islanda,
socks, like ties and underwear, serve no discernible purpose.
Underwears hold your nuts up la dei. The older you get, the saggier they become. Gravity.
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