Thursday, May 17, 2007

Discussion Question:

If gay people are so oppressed, how come they're always so damn happy?
You don't see the rest of us skipping about the office all the time, do you?

Huraikan.


Disclaimer:
I'm not against gay people, I'm just against exceedingly happy people. Okay? Sheeesh.

89 comments:

The Floating Turd said...

I agree.
Pretty soon, gay people are going to have ownership of the Happy Emotion.
And the rest of us are going to have to deliberately act miserable all the time just so everybody knows we're straight, dammit.

The Floating Turd said...

Are you talking to yourself again?

The Floating Turd said...

No, I'm talking to you.

The Floating Turd said...

But I am you!

The Floating Turd said...

If you're me, then who am I?

The Floating Turd said...

You're us.

The Floating Turd said...

Let's go get a beer!

The Floating Turd said...

Okay.

The Floating Turd said...

But what if we leave this comment box and Leen AshBurn and Co. returns and changes the colours of the walls and shit? Remember what happened the last time?

The Floating Turd said...

Oh Ya. Shit. They changed it to some gay colours or something right? Better stay here and keep watch.

The Floating Turd said...

We'll take turns.

The Floating Turd said...

Set. I'm going for a beer. See you later.

The Floating Turd said...

Ya. Ok.

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

bongok la kau.

*cranks up volume on hi-fi, playing REM's shiny happy people*

shiny happy people holding hands
shiny happy people laughing
everyone around love them, love them
put it in your hands
take it take it
happy happy
put it in your heart
i thought that i heard you laughing
i thought that i heard you sing
i think i thought i saw you try

The Floating Turd said...

babe,
you're 13-comment-posts late. Usually you'll be one of the first to comment.

The Floating Turd said...

babe,
...and you mixed up the lyrics with Losing My Religion. Off form today, are we?

Leen AshBurn said...

psst, Pazuzu, where's the rest? How come you're alone again. Except for Babe, but then she's everywhere.

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

*baling kasut kat leen*

because, pazuzu, you beat me this time!!!

yea i know i got them mixed up porpoisely.

can you sing me Losing My Religion at your next gig? please please prtty please?

The Floating Turd said...

Leen,
I'm guarding this comment box from you! The rest have gone for a beer. You think you can distract me and change my wallpaper? Hah! Nothing will distrac...

Look! A shoe!

The Floating Turd said...

Babe,
Stop throwing shoes in my comment box, please.

No more gigs for awhile lah. But will do your Shiny HP/Religion medley when I start back.

Anonymous said...

Pazuz!

Do you thinks gays own GAP?

Gay And Proud.

Anonymous said...

maybe they're happy cause they get laid more then straight guys, i mean, girls are always playing hard to get, but men... they share the same purpose, to get laid and get laid.. no?

Anonymous said...

beacuse gays have the alternative.. can screw or get screwed and be happy about it...
plus some have good bodies and a good fashion sense and always get noticed..by girls and guys alike.. arrghhh!! bastardS!!!

Anonymous said...

yojimbo,
What about BUM Equipment? Then, for those with ambiguous sexual preferences there's Guess?


Anon,
Could be. Damn choosy women!

Funk,
I have a six-pack (of beer) and excellent fashion sense (beer-related t-shirts). Still nobody notices me. What the fuck?

Anonymous said...

then again you can't really blame women for being choosy when there exists lines like ' can i borrow a drill, cause my brain is going crazy just looking at you'

its simple, dont fight gays learn from them, cause who else has hotter girlfriends...(sex in the city, will and grace)

a tip for the brave straight man...
go to a gay club, u'll find groups of hot girls with their guards down... as long as you have the guts to stomach all the male eyes devouring you as you walk in... ;)

Anonymous said...

Anon,
I will NOT tolerate male eyes devouring me!
For fucks sake, I'm not just a really really hunky piece of meat, dammit!
I'm a human being! With, like, feelings and...err...stuff!
Like right now, I'm feeling...errr...errr...thirsty!
Mmmmmm...Beer...

Anonymous said...

jika p maka q thus..

jika pazuzu = not brave

dan

not brave = wuss

maka pazuzu = i wonder... ;)

Anonymous said...

Anon,

Jika Pazuzu = not brave dan
Not brave = wuss

Jika diambil kira bahawa pai bersamaan 3.14

dan mengikut Pythagoras, yang mendapati bahawa ketika sedang mandi air akan melimpah keluar dari bathtub, maka:

Pazuzu = 3.14 X wuss bahagi hypotenus Not Brave to the power of diameter bulatan Pahang.

Maka:

Pazuzu = Penyimpan Cap Mohor Besar DiRaja

Matematik aku A2 lah! Jgn Main-main.

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

weih, berapa gallon bir kau teguk? masih bercakap dengan bayang-bayang sendiri ke?

Anonymous said...

Babe,
Shhhhh...Pazuzu sedang tido kejap...

Anonymous said...

Markah Anda:

Jika Pazuzu = not brave dan
Not brave = wuss (10/10)

Jika diambil kira bahawa pai bersamaan 3.14 (9.2/10)

Correct answer
PI = 3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510

dan mengikut Pythagoras, yang mendapati bahawa ketika sedang mandi air akan melimpah keluar dari bathtub, maka: (-30/10)

Correct answer
Archimedes

since, theory dah salah, maka Pazuzu statements selepas itu dikira null and void

maka,kita boleh maklumkan

A2 untuk matematik = perlukan lebih beer yang boleh jadikan anda sihat and kuat (say with Milo ad umph)

A1 obviously still rocks...

Anonymous said...

shit! whatz wif da maths lah?!?!
what happens if u kencing in the bathtub... fucking Pythangga(tamil fr long-beans)!!
pazuzu there ain't enuf blondes here to check out guys in beer t-shirts carrying 6-packs.. damn! i have whole barrel under my shirt and still don't get noticed!!
eh, since u r a beer conneiseur (did i spell it rite?) by dont u open a micro brewery in KL and call it BREWZUZU..? like 'brewerkz' in spore..

The Floating Turd said...

Anon,

Jelas Anon tidak membuat kerja rumah seperti diarahkan.
Archimedes sebenarnya ialah anak Zeus yang kahwini Helga dan seterusnya mati ditikam Botol Guiness Stout pecah ajaib oleh Panathinaikos yang cemburu.

Jumpa saya.

The Floating Turd said...

Funk,

You didn't spell it right. The correct spelling is coinnesseuire.

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

too intelligent for me here. you are so not the tatler-crowd.

i'm outta here.

The Floating Turd said...

babe,
and I was just about to play Losing My Religion for you. Oh Well.

The Floating Turd said...

Pazuzu,
do you realise this is the most comments we've ever got?

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

i am back i am back i am back!!!

quick, sing now!!!

but i dowan you to play, i want you to sing.
and you can call me Datin Anna Lim.

Leen AshBurn said...

and you believe her? she's prolly lurking around somewhere. Look behind you!

The Floating Turd said...

I know. Damn we're popular. Soon we'll have more comments than Lily.

Leen AshBurn said...

See? toldja already.

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

ooooh so that's the reason you talk to your own appendage down south.

heh, no need one, i can talk to it.

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

oi shuddup la leen! you too have been lurking but dowan to loose face so you dowan to admit one.

The Floating Turd said...

How did two people manages to cut in while I was talking to myself? Typical women. Always interupting.

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

i can never leave a man masturbating on his own on his own.

The Floating Turd said...

Babe,
How many men have you seen masturbating on his own on his own on his own?

The Floating Turd said...

Leen,
Is she still lurking? Where? Where?

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

*sticks own head out from between pazuzu's manly thighs*

The Floating Turd said...

Damn! How did I not notice that?

The Floating Turd said...

Sigh. Everybody's gone. It's just us again.

The Floating Turd said...

It ok. Come here you hunk you.

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

oi! mati pucuk ka???

Lily G said...

if you wash your clothes every now and then, you dont have to spend so much time wanking.

The Floating Turd said...

Babe,
It must be all the beer.

Btw, if I told u NRG is performing tonite at Bojangles 9pm, would you still wanna listen to me?

Anonymous said...

oh no... am i going to the principal's office *blink* *blink*

i'm weally sowee sir, i'm pwomise to wowk hawder next time...

i just get so confused, what with Ophelia being the love child of Newton and the tub of lard from which Hawkings arised to tell us that the spoon is actually a fork...

forgive us mentor pazuzu...
( exits with constant bowing and waving of hand )

The Floating Turd said...

Lily,
U mean I can save wanking time if I do it with clean clothes?

Gemma binti Gammy Legs said...

And if you use your left hand, you can pretend it's leen's hand.

Anonymous said...

On the other hand, if you use a vacuum, you can pretend it's babe's mouth.

The Floating Turd said...

Anon,
Hawkings arised?
Man you're cruel.
Dont make fun of retarded crippled people la.

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

9PM tonight, NRG's at alamanda.

are you as kekar as Jasmine?

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

cik lawa, mulut vacuum tu mulut ponen. mulut saya setakat sedut-sedut straw je.

The Floating Turd said...

Lily,
or I can castrate myself and pretend it's you.

The Floating Turd said...

Babe,
NRG at bojangles at 9pm la. Free test tubes for ladies.
Go go.
I know you want to.
Sigh.

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

*goes in auto-orgasm mode*

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

okay, 30mins up. off for hadas besar.

Gemma binti Gammy Legs said...

you wish. i have more balls than most men. or is it just christina?

Anonymous said...

Lily, Gemma, balik rumah sekarang juga!

Anonymous said...

Oik Michael, leave Lily alone. She's mine. Why don't you go back into concussion?

Anonymous said...

Robbie, you want to come to Newcastle? YOu can start with Michael.

Anonymous said...

Freddie, can i come to? I will be available soon.

Anonymous said...

Oik Thierry. Come back. Your toy boy Adebayor misses you.

Anonymous said...

But boss, i thought you only like them young?

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

can there please be some silence in here, you football sissies???

i need to concentrate here!

Anonymous said...

you shouldn't call the physically challenged all those terrible names...tsk...tsk.... and i thought i was speaking to a gentleman...a girl can dream...sigh

gemmajames,
it is a priviledge to share the same space as a fellow liverpool lover... we really do never walk alone!

Anonymous said...

lalaa.. i'm going to lift old big ears again, lalala..

eh pepe, was i humming to myself again?

The Floating Turd said...

Footballers/Managers,
Thanks to you, the comment box score now stands at:

Pazuzu 76 - Liverbird 75

I win!!!

The Floating Turd said...

Babe,
Eh? Still here? Thought you'd be getting ready for NRG (sarcastic merajuk tone)

The Floating Turd said...

Anon no more,
Hey! YOU'RE the one who asked Hawking to arise! How insensitive is that?
I'll have you know that,as a gentleman, I frequently give loose change to blind people, okay?

The Floating Turd said...

stevie g,
You are out of topic.

The Floating Turd said...

KESIMPULAN COMMENT-BOX HARI INI:

Nobody works on Fridays.

Anonymous said...

and nampaknye semuo kat sini beria-ia untuk meraikan weekend nie dengan penuh semangat bersame muzik-muzik yang mengemparkan dan arak cukup untuk mengakibatkan sakit kepala yang teruk sehingga me-ruin weekend semua orang menantikan to celebrate

have a great weekend folks...
this was fun :)

Ariel said...

which brand of incense sticks would you prefer Pazuzu?

Anonymous said...

Jasmine NRG was hot hot hot.

Anonymous said...

Glad i came online. U guys can spew crap very very very creatively.

Wish my right brain activity was this frenzied.

Anonymous said...

ariel,
why incense sticks, ah? blur lah.

babe,
hmph. Can he play Losing My Religion? Huh? Can he? Can he?

Galadriel,
Nobody spews crap better than us. Except maybe Parliament.

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

yes he can! and he did!!!

The Floating Turd said...

Well, can he sing the ENTIRE Toys R Us jingle including the part that goes "GeeWhizzzz!!!". If so, can he sing with FEELING?
Huh?
Can he?
CAN HE?

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

well, i can!

Ariel said...

coz i have a prayer altar specially for you (with your picture and all) in my house lah. normal what, when we honour our gods, must burn libations all. that's what my amma taught me.